Spants: I like when it snows. It makes it so bright.  Even at night!

Josh: Reflections of light.

And then I laughed so hard I cried.

Josh has brought home leftover bananas before.  The last time I was inundated with bananas, I made MANY loaves of banana bread and MANY banana muffins.  This time I will also make all of those yummy baked goods, but first, the ice cream.

I modified the recipe from the Vanilla Bean Ice Cream recipe by Jeni Britton, a woman I’ve never met, but for whom I’ve got quite the girl-crush.

If you wanted to forgo some processed sugar, you totally could, though it might affect the texture.  Use mild maple syrup, mild molasses, or mild honey instead of corn syrup.  Reduce the sugar to whatever level you feel comfortable.  Next time I’ll probably drop down to 1/3 cup and re-evaluate at that point.  I wouldn’t omit it altogether. What’s the point of ice cream then?

Banana Ice Cream

Ingredients

• 2 c whole milk
• 1 T plus 1 tsp cornstarch
• 4 T cream cheese, softened
• 1 1/4 c heavy whipping cream
• 2/3 c sugar
• 1 1/2 T corn syrup
• 1/8 tsp kosher salt
• 2 T vanilla extract
• 2 bananas, ripe

Preparation

1. In a small bowl, mix 2 T of the milk with the cornstarch. In a large bowl, whisk cream cheese until smooth.
2. In a large saucepan, combine the remaining milk with the heavy cream, sugar, and corn syrup. Bring the milk mixture to a boil and cook over moderate heat until the sugar dissolves, about 4 minutes.
3. Off the heat, gradually whisk in the cornstarch mixture. Return to a boil and cook over moderately high heat until the mixture is slightly thickened, about 1 minute.
4. Gradually whisk the hot milk mixture into the cream cheese until smooth. Whisk in the salt. Set the bowl in an ice water bath.  Or just put it in the refrigerator if you’re lazy or don’t have a big enough bowl.
5. Stir the custard mixture occasionally, until cold, about 20 minutes.  (This might take you longer than 20 minutes.  In fact, you could refrigerate it overnight.  Just make sure to cover it with plastic wrap, pressing it directly onto the surface of the mixture.)
6. Peel bananas and break them in thirds.  Puree the bananas and vanilla extract in a food processor (or blender if you must) until smooth.  Pour pureed bananas into custard mixture and whisk until smooth.  Return to ice bath, or refrigerator, for another 20 minutes.
7. Strain the ice cream base into an ice cream maker.  (I strain the base into a giant measuring cup/batter bowl that has a pour spout.  Then I pour the base into the ice cream machine.  So much easier and way less messy.)
8. Freeze the ice cream according to the manufacturer’s instructions.
9. Pack the ice cream into a plastic container. Press a sheet of plastic wrap directly onto the surface of the ice cream and close with an airtight lid. Freeze the ice cream until firm, about 4 hours.

Serving suggestions:

• Make a banana milkshake.  Pour it into a glass and sprinkle a little nutmeg on top.  Or go the full Johnny Rabbit and add nuts, malt powder, nutmeg, and whipped cream.
• Banana split – you’re almost there!  Just need some chocolate and a couple of fruits.  I’ve got pineapple and strawberries in the freezer.  Thaw, and slice on top of your ice cream.
• Hot fudge.  ‘Nuff said.
• Peanut butter.  ‘Nuff said.
• Mmm, crunchy peanut butter…  Maybe zap it in the microwave for a few seconds, or heat it in a saucepan with some whipping cream until it’s smooth.  (I am totally going to try this.)
• Peanut butter and marshmallow.  (I did try this.  Fluffernutter ice cream!)
• Peanut butter and marshmallow with drizzled honey and nuts sprinkled on top.  (OMG I’m going to have an orgasm.)
• I keep getting more ideas for this ice cream.  I could make chocolate, or devil’s food, sandwich cookies and make banana ice cream sandwiches.
• Warm caramel and toasted almonds on top.  Mmm…

So, after discovering that new technique for making ice cream, I had to make some for myself.  With the banana ice cream, I took a standard egg-custard ice cream and tweaked it.  Basically, my biggest pet peeve with homemade ice cream is that it freezes very hard and is never the “right” texture.  It’s always too icy.  This method makes soft, scoopable, creamy, clean-tasting ice cream.  It’s delicious.

Here’s a little photo-essay:

The cream cheese doesn’t affect the taste of the ice cream.  But boy does it help create the proper texture.

No extract in this recipe.

Josh says it looks like heroin.  He’s never done heroin, so I’m not sure how he knows this.

Before cooking.

At end of cooking.

Chilled, strained, ready to freeze in ice cream machine.

After churning, and ready to freeze.

Food porn close-up.  (Click to make it bigger.)

This ice cream is delicious, but might be a little too vanilla-y, and maybe a touch too sweet, for my tastes.  Josh LOVES it.  The texture, after several hours of being frozen, is the best texture I’ve ever gotten from a homemade ice cream.  This is reason enough for me to continue with this technique.  Next time, I’m trying chocolate, maybe with peanut butter.

P.S. This recipe is easier than the banana recipe.  Fewer ingredients, less sieving, and less time spent chilling.

Vanilla Bean Ice Cream, recipe by Jeni Britton.  I, for once, followed a recipe to the letter.

UPDATE – 1/8/09 3:15 pm: Nevermind what I said about this ice cream being too vanilla-y and too sweet.  It is PERFECT.  The only difference between today and yesterday is that the ice cream has been frozen for over 18 hours.  When I first had a bite it was right out of the ice cream machine.  I must say that this ice cream is best served cold.  It is very easy to scoop right out of the freezer, and the texture is PHENOMENAL.  I highly recommend this recipe and technique.  To those of you who are thinking “Cream cheese in ice cream? No, thanks,” don’t be weenies.  Try it.  Need more convincing?  Check this shot:

(Click to view larger size.)

Amazing texture, right? Further, this might be one of the few vanilla ice creams I’ve had that is delicious enough to eat by itself.  So, ignore my little comments yesterday.  I was wrong, clearly.

]]> http://spants.wordpress.com/2009/01/08/its-never-too-cold-for-ice-cream/feed/ 4 spants Cream cheese Vanilla bean Beans Before cooking After cooking Ready to rock. Ready to freeze OMG OMG http://spants.wordpress.com/2009/01/07/going-bananas/ http://spants.wordpress.com/2009/01/07/going-bananas/#comments Thu, 08 Jan 2009 05:06:51 +0000 spants http://spants.wordpress.com/?p=437 ]]> I’m sure you’re all shocked – SHOCKED – that I like eating ice cream year-round.  But since I got my ice cream maker last year, I’ve only made ice cream in warm weather.

Until now.  But let me explain.

A few months ago, SluttyPants and I went to Ben & Jerry’s.  One of our favorite flavors – Bananas on the Rum – wasn’t in stock, and apparently would not be stocked again at this location.  I had kind of outgrown that flavor, but SluttyPants was really bummed.  She had just started liking it.

In October, when I started brainstorming Christmas presents, I knew exactly what I was giving her: homemade Bananas on the Rum.

It took awhile to find a good recipe.  I finally found one on Epicurious.com for Banana Rum ice cream.  I made it as directed for a trial run.  My mom loved it.  Josh liked it.  I thought it was WAY too banana-y.  And the texture was too icy, I’m guessing because of moisture from the bananas.

So, I modified the recipe for the final version to include the brown sugar swirl, and to embrace an ice cream technique I just learned about.  I’m going to share my recipe with you.  Warning: this recipe is rather labor intensive, even for ice cream.

“Bananas on the Rum” Ice Cream

Ingredients

• 1 Tbsp cornstarch
• 2 cups milk
• 3 Tbsp cream cheese, softened
• 3/4 c sugar
• 1 large egg yolk
• 1 large egg
• 4 tablespoons dark or spiced rum (I used Captain Morgan)
• 1 tsp rum extract (or vanilla if you want a subdued rum flavor)
• 1 c well-chilled heavy cream
• 1 lb bananas
• 2 tsp light corn syrup
• ice water bath in a large bowl or tub

Preparation

1. In a small bowl, mix 2 Tbsp of milk with cornstarch.  Whisk until smooth.  Set aside.
2. In a large bowl, whisk cream cheese until smooth.  Set aside.
3. In a large bowl, whisk sugar, egg yolk, and whole egg.  Whisk until smooth.
4. Scald milk in a heavy saucepan.
5. Slowly and steadily add scalded milk to egg/sugar mixture, whisking until mixed.
6. Pour mixture back into saucepan and bring to a boil, whisking constantly, for 1 minute.
7. Add rum and cornstarch/milk mixture.  Boil, whisking, for 1 minute.
8. Slowly add mixture to bowl with cream cheese.  Whisk until smooth.
9. Strain mixture through a fine sieve and into a bowl inside a larger bowl of ice and cold water.  Chill custard until it is cold.  Stir custard every 10 minutes, or so.  (I put the custard bowl into a huge mixing bowl with ice water, and then put the whole thing into the fridge.  But be careful!  You don’t want your custard bowl to tip and let water seep into it.  That would be the death of the ice cream.  If time isn’t an issue, you can just refrigerate the bowl.)
10. Once custard is cold, stir in vanilla and heavy cream.  Set aside, or leave in fridge.
11. Using a food processor or blender, puree bananas and corn syrup.  Once smooth, pour puree through a fine sieve and into bowl of custard.  Stir until incorporated and chill until cold.
12. Freeze mixture in ice cream maker, following manufacturer instructions.
13. Pack the ice cream into a plastic container.
14. Press a sheet of plastic wrap directly onto the surface of the ice cream and close with an airtight lid. Freeze ice cream until firm, about 4 hours.

Brown Sugar Rum Sauce (modified from an America’s Test Kitchen recipe)

Ingredients

• 1/2 c packed dark brown sugar
• 4 Tbsp unsalted butter
• 1/4 c heavy cream
• 1 tsp light corn syrup
• 1/2 tsp rum extract

Preparation

1. Cook brown sugar and butter in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat, stirring often, until the mixture bubbles and becomes lighter in color, about 3 to 5 minutes.  Remove from heat.
2. Slowly whisk in cream until sauce is smooth.  Stir in corn syrup and rum extract.  Serve warm, or cool to room temperature.  (This sauce can be refrigerated in an airtight container for up to 2 weeks.  Just reheat in a small saucepan over low heat, or microwave in short bursts, stirring often, until warm and smooth, 1 to 3 minutes.)

To construct “Bananas on the Rum” ice cream:

• Before packing ice cream into an airtight plastic container, spoon a layer of sauce into bottom of container, using a zig zag pattern.  It’s okay if it’s uneven.
• Put a layer of ice cream atop the sauce.  Repeat sauce.  Repeat ice cream layer.  Etc.  Finish off with another drizzle of sauce.  Then, when you scoop the ice cream, you should get a nice swirl of sauce with every scoop.
• Press a sheet of plastic wrap (I use Glad Press ‘n Seal Freezer) directly onto surface of ice cream and sauce and close with an airtight lid.  Freeze until firm, about 4 hours.

Tip:

• When you take ice cream out of freezer, remove lid and plastic wrap immediately.  If you wait, the plastic wrap will pull away a lot of sauce.

So, that’s my recipe.  If you don’t have an ice cream machine, you can still make ice cream.  It just takes even more work, and I would recommend halving the recipe to make it easier to stir.

Oh, and sorry no pictures.  I didn’t think of it.  BUT, I did make vanilla bean ice cream today, and I took pictures.  I’ll post it tomorrow.

… talk to my cats in a silly voice sometimes.  What?  They like it!

… forgive people pretty easily, which is surprising given my temper.

… really like washing and detailing my cars.  It’s so satisfying when they’re as clean and new-looking as possible.

… have excellent intuition.  I’m a wee bit clairvoyant, methinks.

… have two different-colored eyes.  It’s not always noticeable.  But when it is, I have one green eye, one blue eye.

… have a wing-span of 5’7″, and I’m only 5’5″.

… surf the internet with Firefox and have like 10-20 tabs open at once.

… think I might have ADD.  And it’s getting worse the older I get.

… pick up Bella and Coco at least once a day and hold them like a baby or over my shoulder.  I can’t help it.

… am kind of scared of the dark, except not when I’m trying to sleep.

… can punch really hard.

… will be furious if Albert Pujols gets passed over for MVP again this year.

When he’d done all he could inside the house, we went outside together to plug everything in and put the dash together.  Basically, I hold the flashlight while Josh connects ports and tucks wires and pushes the dash back together.

It was exciting when my newer Shuffle worked from the Auxiliary port and when his old, 1st generation Shuffle worked through the USB port.  If mine hadn’t worked, he was going to find me a Shuffle like his so I could use it in the car.  I thought that part unnecessary since I could just use SD cards, but it just seemed like one of those things that men want to do sometimes in order to “make things right.”  Do you know what I’m saying?  Things would’ve been off-kilter and unfair somehow if my iPod hadn’t worked and his did.  Fortunately, both Shuffles worked, and that’s that.

——————————

I think I said it the other day, and I know I’ve said it before: fall makes me nostalgic.  Even where no real memory exists.  Sure, Josh and I knew each other for a blip of a moment in high school.  There were no “moments,” though.  At least, there were none for me.  It’s so weird how the mind behaves.  You’re sitting there doing something, completely in the moment.  Suddenly, your brain is creating all this back-story.  Or you start feeling a way you haven’t felt in years.  And you take your present (and your future) into the past with you.  I don’t understand this, but I like it.  I hope I always experience it.

——————————

While we were sitting in the car it started raining.  We were listening to music, sitting in front of the house in the idling car with the rain coming down, pinging the poorly-insulated car roof.  It felt like we were teenagers who had stayed out just a bit too late.  And that if the right song came on, Josh was going to lean over and kiss me.  And there would be quick breathing, lips pushing and probing, and tiny groans of satisfaction with promises to call tomorrow.  I would run up the stairs yard to my Grandma’s porch and wave to him when I got to the door.  Then I would go inside with perma-grin on my face and idealize everything that had just happened, still tasting his mouth in mine, locking it all into my memory forever.

Instead, he turned the car off and we walked upstairs together.

Right.

Yesterday evening, I was leaving the grocery store parking lot at a traffic light.  This particular traffic light has a lot of cars at it because a Target is across the street.  Many people turn right, many go straight, and because there is no left-turn signal, the left-turn yield lane usually backs up quite a bit.

On the second cycle through the light, I was the second car.  The car in front of me had two 17-22 year old boys in it.  The driver missed an opportunity to go, but I let it slide.  I figured he was being cautious.  No biggie.

But he did it again.

That time I honked lightly.  He looked at me in the rearview mirror.  At his next chance to turn, he turned so slowly that I had time to read a novel.  The whole time, he watched me in his side mirror, smiling.  I turned behind him.  He went to the right lane, and I went to the left lane.  I was a little peeved, but kind of amused at the same time.

Suddenly, I found myself rolling down the passenger window as I pulled up next to the boys.

“Wow,” I said, “you must have a tiny prick!”

The driver was slack-jawed and his buddy howled with glee.  I sped off.

I have no idea what got into me.

I was just talking to SluttyPants and Josh about this yesterday.

Thomas Friedman must live in my brain, because he mentioned that in his op-ed today.

In a way, I would love to hear Obama say, just for shock value: “I am so eager to do whatever it takes to fix these problems that I am ready to be a one-term president. Mine will not be a presidency that is confined to the first 100 days. … We can’t solve our problems with a government of 100 days. I am going to work the hard problems the hard way for 1,461 days.”

How refreshing would that be?  I would love for Obama to say it, and mean it.  And if he wants to run for office again, so be it.  But to have a president who doesn’t let it interfere with the duties of being president?  Oh what a sweet, sweet dream.

As we all know, but few people in the mainstream media are acknowledging, the candidates simply cannot live up to their hype. Sure, both have admirable qualities.  Both would be better presidents than our national embarrassment, George W. Bush.  But no matter what you think now, they’ll both significantly fail us.  People just aren’t suffering enough to vote for the best candidate.

Most voters base their votes on issues that rarely pertain to actual governing: personality and campaign promises.  We all know those promises only amount to something if the president can get congress to write the laws.  And this time around, the promises being made by Obama and McCain ring fairly hollow.  Can we really believe that taxes can continue to be cut as spending increases?  Or that we can have universal health care of any kind?  Or that we’re going to even make a dent in this energy crisis?  It’s idiotic to believe all this nonsense.

Did I mention that I think most Americans are stupid?  Many vote against their economic issues because of their “values.”  Most vote for silly, ridiculous, immeasurable reasons like how much the candidate is like them.    And then they wonder why we’re in this mess?  Who among us would want our peers running this country?  Personally, I’d prefer the next president be the nerdiest, wonkiest, smartest, most visionary, open-minded, caring, diplomatic person with a worldly view that this nation has ever seen.  NOT GONNA HAPPEN.  That person is not real.  The closest we’ve probably been to that fiction was FDR, and he had personal issues, a death knell in this day and age.  But which also proves that personal issues don’t mean a lick when it comes to pulling a country out of a depression.

Here’s the bottom line:

• We need a candidate that tells us what we need to hear (something Obama does sometimes, but mostly in generalities) and we need a serious prescription for fixing this country.  I don’t mean fixing the issues that divide us as citizens; I mean fixing the machinations of government.
• Just follow the money, people.  You’ll see what’s up.  (Do you know how much money has been spent on the campaign already?  The networks and the mainstream media are making out like bandits!  THIS is why campaign finance reform matters. Every presidential campaign gets longer and longer because there is money to be made and spent. And the citizens have to suffer all this nonsense.)
• It’s fine and dandy that we’re making inroads to eradicate racial discrimination.  But just as we’re not in a post-feminist world (no matter what my generation says), we’re not in a post-racial world either.  There are millions of people in this nation who won’t vote for someone with a shade of skin that is different than theirs.  It’s disgusting and I’m afraid this election will show us just how sick we Americans really are.
• People don’t seek all that power for healthy reasons.  And once they have that power, they (and those in the administration) tend to abuse it.  Yet, we reelect these same corrupt people time and again.  McCain and Obama will be (or be surrounded by) people who are looking to corrupt the government.  It’s inevitable and since you can screw up and then make millions of dollars writing a book about your involvement in a government scandal, why not?  The self-interested nature of politics always trumps idealism, ideology, sacrifice, and the interest of the nation and its citizens.
• Our government has made poor decisions because we’ve elected a lot of mediocre representatives, mainly because they’re charming and have nice hair.
• Whoever is elected will not be cutting taxes any further.  I don’t care what they say.  In fact, they’ll likely raise taxes.  They’ll have to.  And if they don’t, they’re a pussy and they’re avoiding it so that they can be reelected.  And things will get much worse.
• Universal health care is still a pipe dream.  Go ahead and smoke it.  We need it, but it’s not going to happen as long as lobbyists have the government by the balls, a situation that isn’t changing any time soon.
• Our foreign policy is a mess.  It’s gonna take twice as long to undo this mess as it took to get into it, and we still can’t control for self-interested rogue nations.  How can we be a stable influence in this world when our nation is increasing unstable?  The next president has a major task at hand.

Someday, if these issues aren’t addressed, there will be another revolution, or perhaps a civil war.  (One thing that makes civil war less likely is that sides aren’t divided by locale like they were in the 1860s, but you never know how the population will move around.)

I know this is bleak, and you all likely think I’m crazy and cynical, but I’m just calling a spade a spade.  Every democracy in history has come to a bitter, violent end.  We will be no exception.  (However, we are also a republic; but the track records on those aren’t great either.)

In the meantime, I’ll be casting my vote for Barack Obama because I see him as less corrupt, less deceitful, and less likely to further damage our position in the world.  Even though he’s made some missteps in his campaign (like not tapping Clinton for VP, and like being a pushover, and not telling the truth about the nation’s financial crisis, and not doing a better job of attacking McCain) he’s still better than McCain who is a political opportunist and a liar.  Plus, our ideologies are more closely aligned.  Though that isn’t always a predictor of effective leadership.  Jimmy Carter anyone?