L: Tell me something funny.
S: Hmm… Once, a guy stole my bra after sex.
L: Haha, what?!
S: I didn’t realize it at first, so I kept searching for it the rest of the day. But I never found it.
L: What a weirdo! Do you think he kept a bra collection?
S: Maybe. Can you imagine explaining that to a girlfriend? And where would he keep them? A rubbermaid container? Just tack them to his bedroom wall?
L: Tacking them to the wall is pretty “it puts the lotion on its skin,” only less murder-y.
S: But aren’t they basically his trophies?
L: Were you guys teenagers when this happened?
S: Yes. Sixteen.
L: Oh, then he definitely displayed them.
L: But if he displayed them, wouldn’t his parents know? That would be tricky to hide. Maybe he kept them in the trunk of his car?
S: He had a Jeep Wrangler.
S: Maybe he wore them?
L: That’s very “it puts the lotion on its skin.” So, I guess you never had sex with this guy again?
S: Uh, no. What teenager could afford that?